Thursday, April 20, 2017

Je vinaigrette rien

"Are you planning to blog about your regrettable pizza?" the Doktorling wanted to know. "All the hipster dads are posting food selfies of their pizza tragedies." So in response to popular demand:
My half (at left) is pumpkin, porcini and black pudden. The yellow-green hemispheres are Cape Gooseberries. Then a merciful veil of grated cheese was drawn over the proceedings.

Since "pineapple and tinned spaghetti" used to be the Doktorling's notion of BEST TOPPINGS EVAH, she is inclined to suspect the Pry Minster of stealing her recipe. Also, when the Pry Minster is on Pizza Duty, does he cut the ham slices into heart shapes with a cookie cutter? I think not. ADVANTAGE SMUT.

Kudos to the Italian Ambassador, who took the Pry Ministerial Pizza Provocation in good spirit and retaliated with a foteaux of a salami pavlova. Hungry now.

Right and below: Artist's impressions of further regrettable dining here at Maison d'Être.

20 comments:

JP said...

"Spring kings" are almost in season here; they're popping up further south and at lower elevations. Morels soon, too.

Smut Clyde said...

I made my first professional sale of surplus porcini to a restaurant the other day. The going rate turns out to be NZ$100 / kg.
I was young and I needed the money.

JP said...

People are finding Amanitas now too:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zweovxmc5Ls

JP said...

I have never found enough boletes to consider selling, plus I usually cut them on half first to check them for worms, which makes them no good for selling, I think. I did find one monster king last fall that must have weighed a pound, though. I kept it for myself.

A lot of people around here sell morels, although technically you are supposed to have a license to sell them. If I ever find a wheelbarrow full, like some of the pictures I have seen lately from Oregon, I might well then.

JP said...

Cut them IN half. Anf SELL them.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Last fall was bad for mushrooms in my neck of the woods... no hen of the woods, no oyster mushrooms, not even so much as a puffball!

JP said...

I have still never found the famous chicken of the woods, but my brother and cousin found a whole bunch of it once when they were out deer hunting. I told them they were fools not to harvest it and they said it would have been too heavy to pack around. WIMPS, I says. What good are manly men if they will not bring home the delicious mushrooms?

Smut Clyde said...

I was advised to freeze some of the surplus (as a change from drying them). Slice (ready to go on future pizzas), freeze on non-stick paper, then keep in the freezer in ziploc bags away from air.
The source of advice was a professional forager I regularly encounter under the pine-trees. He was also forthcoming with suggestions about which restaurants to go to, and what prices I should ask (so as not to undercut his own business). And recipes. Advice on everything, in fact, except sites where the mushrooms *grow*.

JP said...

Yes, I always freeze my surplus mushrooms. I sautee them in butter and garlic first, I have heard they freeze better cooked.

Foragers are generally very territorial about their "spots."

Smut Clyde said...

Grilling one for lunch RIGHT NOW.

JP said...

Ah, envy revenge.

JP said...

Well, I have something to cause you envy: I had sworn off alcohol, but then the local brewpub offered me a case of 12 22 oz. bottles of my favorite beer (the Fold Press coffee Porter from Everybody's Brewing in white Salmon, WA) for $30.

Drinking one right now, on the back porch.

JP said...

Cold Press. Stupid Kindle, stupid fat fingers.

JP said...

One of my favorite beers, I should say. They also have a fine Russian Imperial Stout and something called Uncle Stepdad that's very good. (I almost had one of those a few years back when my mom and my dad's baby brother were carrying on, but he got weirded out - "What are your kids gonna call me, Uncle Dad?")

Smut Clyde said...

Cold Press coffee Porter

Best consumed while riding a fixie bike, for maximum hipster.

Smut Clyde said...

I have heard they freeze better cooked.
Will try a comparison batch.
The current plan for a porcini beer is to use some of the dried stuff, ground up and added very late in the boil -- or mixed with boiling water so it can be added at the dry-hop stage.

JP said...

The most adventurous my uncle and I have gotten while brewing beer is to add mint and chocolate to the porter, or fruit to the wheat beer. Pretty pedestrian, but dank have we made some good beer.

JP said...

Oh FFS. DAMN have we made good beer. Apparently this thing does not even have mild swears in its autocorrect dictionary.

JP said...

Oh, and the general local atmosphere is much more red neck with a smattering of hippie; Everybody's most popular beers are the Local Logger Later and the Country Boy IPA.

Perhaps hipsters travel here from Portland to sample the beer. I know yuppies are big on kayaking, windsurfing, and kiteboarding.

Trevor said...

Hell, that puts even my accidental cassoulet pizza to shame, and that was pretty vile. Don't eat it whatever you do: have it framed.