Thursday, December 8, 2016

What keeps bringing me back to the GcMAF market is the high calibre of individuals one thereby encounters (#104)

Woof Woof!
What's that, Widdlebum? There's been an accident with the Canterel 8-Tesla Tooth Magnet?

Woof Woof!
Another Kiwi and Swearing Bob are testing the Advanced Alcohol Imbibement prototype in breach of the Health-&-Safety protocols?
Woof Woof Woof!
Ah, Widdlebum, you are correct about the Vieland brain-stimulating nostril-torch; it is clearly a rip-off of a recent Riddled invention. I shall pass your woofage on to our legal counsel, Messrs Trahison & Clerisy (solicitors and commissioners for oaths), so that they can advise us of our legal redress.

Though I cannot deny that the Vielight is a classy appliance, targetted to stimulate the immune response as well as illuminate the lobes. It's a backbrain stimulator, it's a cerebral vibrator, OOOPS sorry about the Hawkwind lyrics, they are bleeding though from the Riddled Prog Rock Podcast. The accompanying blurb appears to have been penned by someone whose first language was Computer Network Geek rather than English --
It directs pulsed near infrared light (NIR) to the hubs of the default mode network (DMN) of the brain using optimally engineered light emitting diodes (LED).
Research on DMN abnormalities and related neuro-pathologies are highly advanced, providing useful data for us to further develop the Neuro. It also allows us to address the whole brain by targeting at a few hubs.
-- but the message comes through that if you succumb to virus or bacterium it was for lack of a nasal / trans-cranial spotlight.

So we took ourselves straight to the supplier's on-line shop, expecting to find more of our intellectual property shamelessly plundered, including the inventions we haven't even invented yet. And what a cornucopied revelation of WTF it was at
Behold, to begin, the magnificence of the DENAS-Vertebra-2 Back-Massaging Neuro-reprogrammer: it may look like a prog-rock hipster keyboard fucked a turbot, but it has 4 automatic therapeutic programs and additional 1 NEW INNOVATIVE PROGRAM - individual prevention and treatment of acute and chronic spinal diseases:
This is a significant increase in the effectiveness of treatment and medical vozmozhnosteyapparata expansion by increasing the number of programs.
I could not have put it better myself. When we get around to inventing the original, I shudder to think what its purpose will be.
Other points of interest include the TrueRife Hyperdrive Cellular Attunement Oscillator, Qx2 Double Bubble with Amplification Shroud, dilithium-crystal warranty void at speeds in excess of Warp Factor 8,
NEW F-117 Hyperdrive frequency generator and Amplifier. This is the engine that drives all other devices. With a built in Micro-processor it is the only Plasma based frequency instrument with scanning capabilities when connected to the GRS Scanner.

...and the Synergy Cold Corona Ozone Machine. And we saw St. Elmo's Fire, spitting ions in the ether FECK there go the lyrics bleeding through into reality again. But they provide an excuse to link to Brian Eno, so no harm done.

The LiveO2 personal oxygen tents do not claim to concentrate Orgone Energy as well; the manufacturer dropped the ball there.

It came as no surprise to find that the ad copy for Organic Pure Sulfur (which sounds less industrial than "Methyl sulphonyl methane") is focussed on CHEMTRAILS, and the UN's DEPOPULATION AGENDA 21, which only a sulphur-centred diet can save you from. For a sense of "Health Freedom!!' and "Logic and Consistency aren't the boss of me!!" pervades the whole site in the manner of colloidal-silver joss-sticks. Much of the copy-pasted rhetoric appears to be Yang Worship Words, added to foster a sense that the store's proprietors share an affinity with prospective customers and can therefore be trusted with their money, rather than to convey information. It is as if the consumer niche targeted here is a clientele of survivalist preppers, gold buyers, Trump voters and Sovereign Citizens, looking for fellow conspiracists to buy stuff from.

The store's Terms of Use continue in this vein. Do go and read them, they comprise an exercise in censorious asshattery a remarkable document -- built on the premise that the TotalHealingInstitute is a "Private Members Association", and that consumers become Association Members when they buy, exercising their Constitutional Right to Freely Associate. If it were a flag it would have gold fringes. Because
We believe that the Constitution of the United States is one of the wisest documents ever written by man, and that the signers of the Declaration of Independence did so out of love for freedom and for all people to live in a society where life, invention and creativity could flourish free of Governmental oppression.
-- This is best declaimed while dressed in the buskins of Greek Tragedy, and the next Riddled Amateur Dramatic Society production will consist of a recitation of this Membership Contract Memorandum of Understanding, in a range of histrionic voices, rendered more resonant by giant sea-shells built into the walls. Dora @HIVforum had fun with it.

The purchaser having Freely Associated, and formally acquiesced to the Contract by the act of reading it, he or she relinquishes all rights, promises to bring no Admiralty-Court lawsuits in the case of dissatisfaction or injury but submits to the adjudication of the Association. Children and grandchildren are bound by its terms unto the ninth generation. In the cause of FREEDOM. One Michael Carroll, Founder, enjoys the special confidence of the Trustees, who are mentioned in the Memorandum and therefore undoubtedly exist:
The Trustees and members have chosen Michael Carroll as the person best qualified to perform services to members of the Association and entrust him to select other members to assist him in carrying out that service.
Plating a Boiler
But despite its magisterial tone, the legal status of this foundational document is undermined by its equivocation about the name of the Association, which changes halfway through to "The Truth About Cancer Store Private Association Membership", and then to "Synergistic Nutrition Private Association". It is almost as if similar faux-legal screeds are common around the scammosphere, favoured by grifters and con-men hoping for legal immunity, and Michael Carroll boiler-plated a few bits together but lacked the attention to detail required for nominal consistency.
Woof woof yap!
It is funny you should mention that, Widdlebum. No, the panaceal wonder-drug GcMAF is not among the potions and nostra sold at TotalHealthInitiative, for that product lost its efficacy and was replaced by Reinwald Rerum, which Michael does import. And from the same people, Bravo Magic Yoghurt, rich in GcMAF-producing bacteria... This brought him within the ambit of the Riddled Mission Statement, and under its aegis, and perhaps even into its aembis. In fact, anticipating growth in this market, he opened a fifth Webstore devoted to the sale of fermented dairy products and $560 ampoules of immune-boosting Unobtainium (h/t Dora):

Yap yap woof!
Patience, Widdlebum. I was coming to the other three:

All with the same Membership Contract legalastic bafflegab, and a overlapping product ranges of Alt-Med tchotchkes. The main advance with #5 is the focussed range of worthless swill, and the address, which is no longer Michael's home abode... the sales team are evidently crowded into a PO box at a USPS office, and possibly they are recruited from the species of aliens who inhabit Locker C18 in MiB.

The overarching narrative of "Oxygen-for-Health" alternates with a counterpoint of "Oxygen is poison". Anti-oxidants of all forms and flavours abound, most of them with liposomes, for "liposomal" has become another Worship Word in alt-health circles. There is Marine Phytoplankton if your tastes run to Soylent Green. If coal eating is more your thing, there is RESTORE Pre-biotic Mineral Supplement from Biomic Sciences ("leading US-based developer of soil-derived supplements"), elsewhere glossed as "lignite extract",* formulated to remediate the havoc wrought on your intestinal lining by reckless consumption of Glyphosate and Gluten and GMOs and Garibaldi biscuits and Giraffopedes.

There is no connection between #2, or Michael's alternative domain, and the longer established and more profitable site -- which already has its own shop, as well as videos, conspiracy theories, and fraudulent promises of cures. The possibility that suckers might confuse the names is regrettable.

Anyway, you'll be glad to know that Michael Carroll is not resting on his laurels. His speed at staking out domains of potential on-line shops out-strips his ability to boilerplate new Association Membership Contracts and customise their internal nomenclature. Thus we are teased by a list of Yoghurt-shop variants, and disease-themed websites of the form "". Not yet instantiated, these exist only as domains and place-holders, and we are currently deprived of his insights and privileged access to medical secrets... although I will go out on a limb and speculate that TheTruthAbout Celiac, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Lymphoma and Psoriasis will prove to be that they can all be cured by sufficiently large doses of Bravo Yoghurt and magical polymerised sugars.

A second list of domains is equally tantalising:

Of them,, and redirect to #3. And although the Liposomal Store enjoys its own independent existence in Google Maps, redirects to #4. Practitioners of Zazen -- concerned to see their philosophy co-opted, traduced and pimped out as another consumerist confection, bedecked with stylings of Simplicity and Spontaneity -- will be relieved to learn that also redirects to #3.
Activated water: Always ends badly
Most of all, however, I would like to learn more about and it appears that ordinary water is simply not adequate to human needs and must be processed, fulfilling the age-old Alchemical dream of water that contains more water. One can only speculate how the species survived until now, forced to drink water that had not been Alkalised, Oxygenated, Hydrogenated, Ionised, Deionised and Activated with Bond-Angle Realignment through Molecular Resonance, I am not making this crap up.

Here at Stately Riddled Manor we would pay well for technology to Deonionise water, as plants of the genus Allium seem to be growing in the plumbing somewhere, and we have a real problem with scallions and ramps emerging from the taps. To say nothing of the leeks in the pipes.

With all Mr Carroll's TruthAbout expertise, and the devices and treatments he retails, I struggle to understand why he needed the charity of strangers for his Holistic Cancer Medical Fund:

My name is Michael. Five years ago I was diagnosed with stage 4 Lympoma Cancer. For the 3 year prior to my diagnosis I had worked as a contractor support NATO and the US military in Afghanistan. During that period of time I had encourtnered very harsh conditions living and working on a Nato...
The GoFundMe appeals have been shut down, having raised a total of $0.00 towards the target of $300,000.00, after three months. I am just surprised that Michael found time for his patriotic heroism in Mesopotamia, what with all his website activities (not to forget his day job with a realtor firm).

It has not gone unnoticed that the MRET Water Activator bears more than a passing resemblance to another Riddled invention, the Plektodotroscope. Rest assured that the matter now rests in the hands of Messrs. Trahison & Clerisy. To be fair, the Plektodotroscope cannot be used as a $510 Kush breast-cushion.
* Full marks to the marketing dudes at Biomic who realised that suckers will pay well for a mixture of dirt and coal ash if it is billed as Organic and Natural.

UDDATE: I forgot the Free Shipping, $19.75.

Also the Carnivora, flytrap-extract cancer scam. Michael was hocking the stuff as Pure Spanish Fly (product now discontinued, sorry) --
Carnivora is also known as SPANISH FLY and is an aphrodisiac NATURAL libido enhancer promoting sexual health.
Congratulations, sir, you have made yourself into more of a low-life scuzzball than even Vi4gr@ spammers.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Zen cones

A reader is inspired to reminiscense:
I was hired by the local government to cut costs on emergency equipment by standing by the side of the road and warning drivers about upcoming roadwork.
Roadcone cosplay is not recommended in New Zealand, where the Kea is the Roadcone's main natural predator, for Keas are bitey little buggers.

The other natural predator of roadcones -- in Christchurch at least -- is the Mitsubishi sedan.
Cones have evolved a number of ways to disguise themselves from their enemies.

They masquerade with equal ease as flower-pots, as a giraffe and as the Duke of Wellington's head.

In groups they can disguise themselves as a chessboard or a sea-urchin.

HA HA that one is not a camouflaged roadcone; it is a pink flamingo in the middle of the Polhill Reserve, possibly placed there as part of a guerilla marketing campaign to promote a theatrical reenactment of a John Waters movie.

The orange colouration comes from caretenoid pigments concentrated in the roadcone's outer layers to demonstrate its fitness to potential mates and thereby improve its reproductive success. Except in Japan, where they come in all colours (including black and white) because Japan.

I for one am concerned that these chromatic aberrations are introduced to other countries, they will out-compete the orange variety, in the manner of grey skwirls. One can only hope that they only look like road cones and are in fact a variety of Kasa-obake.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

When I become world dictator (#273)...

...The BBC will broadcast a science fiction series about the adventures of an immortal alien who believes that he is dead, or a fictional character, or both, as he recruits companions who share his delusion, and they travel through time and space in the Cotardis.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

My love is like a red red nose (#2)

Another Kiwi and I were enjoying a pint of Gleamhound's Bloodpressure Plummet [may contain plums] at the Old Entomologist when we were appraised of the new research from Pazda et al. (2016) and Thorstenson et al. (2016), about pairing up the most red-faced men and women so as to selectively breed a sexy new human subspecies with apoplexic complections [or possibly vice versa]. This will enliven the supermodel career path and will be good news for suppliers of natural vermilion-based face-raddle. Naturally we dropped everything and headed to the laboratory to replicate their findings, NO WAIT we had more beer.
Apparently redder faces are sexier; also healthier-looking, more intelligent and more honest. Indeed, it is a mystery how the human race managed to reproduce back in the days of my childhood before colour photography, when everyone was black-&-white.

Note the sex-appeal
Let us pass discreetly over the possibility that exaggerated colour contrast in photographs and digital media have left us expecting a heightened level of colour saturation, and that it was increased saturation that turned the cranks for Pazda's and Thorstenson's subjects, rather than ruddiness as such.

Staircase procedure: Doin it rong
One wonders whether these studies are compatible with the earlier report that facial yellowness is what makes for pulchritude... especially yellow tones in the skin of otherwise-albino Scotspeople, such as might result from the natural food pigments in an atypically-healthy and un-Scottish fruit-n-vegetable diet.

Arguably, a flaw in that study was its reliance on a staircase procedure to measure sensitivity to yellowness, which assumed that Yellow=Sexy and by design could not detect preference for pallor instead.

No wait! Last author on the Yellow=Sexy study was Dave Perrett... who was also last author on both Red=Sexy studies. Perhaps he should compromise and investigate the allure of Orange. Perhaps he was right both times, and a future dynasty of orange-hued elective overlords will trace their descent back to the King in Yellow and the Queen in Red. "House of Orange" joke goes here.
Doubleplus Unsexy
This time Perrett has crossed the Rubicund and teamed up with Thorstenson, Padza and Elliot, who previously came into the Riddled purview with their discovery that a vaguely sad emotion disrupted one's colour perception (in a study with such egregiously bad methods, statistics and interpretation that it was retracted within weeks rather than the customary years). It is not clear what the new super-group will call themselves -- I humbly put forward "Pigments of the Imagination" as a band-name -- before they go on tour, performing cover versions of such classics as "Before the Kiss (A Red-Cap)" and "Rudolf the Red-faced Reindeer".

I am not entirely sure what a "purview" is, but I imagine it to be a variety of bay window.
[Thx Neuroskeptic]

Friday, December 2, 2016

Excitement at fever-pitch in Oamaru #2

Where was the Only Man whom Goats Respect, when we needed him? It must have been his day off.

The level of Vitamin C within the stressed goat's liver was not recorded.

Below: Constable Conrad prepares blowpipes to fire tranquilliser darts for self-defense against rampaging goat / human genetic aberration.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

A drug by the name of "World Without End"
#2 -- Sympathy for Debility

Peter Duesberg had an intriguing though not widely-accepted theory [Below, right]. It involved everyone else being wrong, a recurring theme in Duesberg's oeuvre. More specifically: all the money and effort spent researching oncoregulator and oncopromoter genes are wasted, because there are no oncogenes... instead, cancer is a state of accelerating chromosomal disrepair, or 'aneuploidy', with the karotype going all higgledy-piggledy.

Don't worry, this will not be part of the final exam.

So Marco Ruggiero -- to whom we are grateful as a reliable source of material for Riddled -- liked this idea, and has made it his own. And in this world of post- modernism and deconstructionism where authorial intent is a quaint outmoded notion, he is free to shift the meaning slightly... to "There is no such thing as an oncogene, and it is Bcl-2".

Duesberg's actual words remain the same, in a novel context, much in the manner of genes within the broken and reassembled aneuploid chromosomes of a cancer cell-line.

Source is Ruggiero's Bcl-2 entry in the Springer Encyclopedia of Cancer [Manfred Schwab ed.], 3rd Edition, 2011... I don't always read Cancer reference tomes, but when I do, it's the Springer Encyclopedia. Yellow highlighting is not the authors', and probably not mine either, though who can be sure in this mixed-up deconstructionist post-authorship world?
Secret of Immortality: Blood
transfusions from Centaurs
Now Duesberg happened to remark in passing on the immortality of the resulting disinhibited cell lines, as one might say that HeLa cells and Devil Transmissible Facial Tumour qua distinct biological entities are immortal for as long as there remain Tasmanian Devils to infect. But "immortality" is a word that captures one's full attention, much in the manner of "World domination" or "Free Beer" or "10% discount on Mrs Miggin's Samphire-&-Scallion Pasties". Our man Ruggiero became over-excited by the concept, as if this were the continuity-of-personal-experience kind of immortality that one achieves through not dying.
This was our first warning that Ruggiero is beginning to adopt the viewpoints of pathogens and disease processes, which is an admirable trait for characters in J.G. Ballard novels and Burroughs fictions, but one prefers the loyalty of one's personal doctor to be less divided.

So come with me now on a stroll down the road, around the corner and over the railway overbridge, to a different intellectual magisterium... the world of HIV and AIDS. Form an orderly line, and please, no straggling.

Here we find Woodman and Williamson, describing the evolution of the HIV viral population within a human host as they adapt to escape the host's immune response, at the cost of not replicating as fast as they would like:
After transmission, HIV evolves at a rapid rate driven by the immune pressure until the virus reaches a delicate survival balance: on one hand avoiding elimination through the development of cytotoxic T-cell immune escape mutations, and on the other sacrificing replication fitness as these mutations may come with a severe fitness cost to the virus.
The phrase "delicate survival balance" caught our man's eye, and untrammeled by notions of 'author' or 'meaning' he was free to repurpose the paper for his own narrative -- much as one take scissors to the edges of a jigsaw piece so it can fit into a different jigsaw puzzle --
-- a narrative in which HIV is evolving at the species level for co-existence with humankind.

This account of HIV as an apologia for the virus, it is the second warning sign for Ruggiero. The fictive realm is drawing him down into its maelstrom and he is becoming a character from David Cronenberg's cinematic practice. This sort of thing happens more and more often (what with the morphogenic flux's increasing intensity), and it never ends well, with grotesque body-melt transformations and aesthetic folios full of skin diseases and such. Run, Marco! Escape while you still can!
"It's my conceit that perhaps some diseases perceived as diseases which destroy a well-functioning machine, in fact change the machine into a machine that does something else, and we have to figure out what it is that the machine now does. Instead of having a defective machine, we have a nicely functioning machine that just has a different purpose. Part of it is a self-deceptive way of coping with the possibilities of disease, but on the other hand I can imagine what it feels like to be a virus. The AIDS virus: look at it from his point of view. Very vital, very excited, really having a good time. [...] A virus is a living creature - actually, sometimes they go crystalline on you, which is what's interesting. See the movies from the point of view of the disease. You can see why they would resist all attempts to destroy them."
I am not making this up. Attend once again to the Springer Encyclopedia, and Ruggiero on Viral Protein R, introducing his theory that HIV is an unjustly-maligned cancer-curing human symbiont:
"Whaddafuck is that garish migraine horror? The goggles do nothing!" exclaims the reader, recoiling, eyeballs bleeding in the throes of a tequila-hangover flashback, unfamiliar with postmodern deconstructionist conventions of colour-coded highlighting. The point is to show the secret life of text, and how genetic sequences migrate independently, crossing the species volume barrier in episodes of horizontal transfer.
Sequences from Mishra et al., J Biol Chem 282 (7), 4288-4300 (2006) *:

and Muthumani et al., Curr HIV Res. 2009 Mar;7(2):144-52:
That would be a good place to stop, except I have filled in a requisition form for a lot of yellow and blue highlighter, and I might as well use them as it is not worth the extra trouble and form-filling just to send them back into the store-room again. So here are Zhang et al. [below, left], Hum. Mol. Genet. (2001) 10 (21): 2329-2339, making the point that proteins sentences of the Bcl-2 gene family literature are evolutionarily conserved from the Sponges original papers to man Encyclopedia entries. And below that an excerpt from the Whackyweedia.

Here are Zinkel, Gross and Yang -- Cell Death and Differentiation (2006) 13, 1351–1359:
For comparison with the Encyclopedia entry:
Presumably space limitations in the Encyclopedia prevented Ruggiero from crediting all his sources in the detail he would have preferred. It is unfortunate that he wasted one of his nine citations on Yamamoto et al. (2008), which is to say a discredited fabrication [three of the four key GcMAF-cures-cancer papers from Yamamoto were retracted, on account of made-up ethics clearance and the probable non-existence of patients; concerns about the Translational Oncology paper were ignored, because Elsevier].
The paragraph advertising Ruggiero's commercial GcMAF product is also a lamentable use of space, shoehorned rather awkwardly into the text with an admission that it has no actual link to the putative topic of the entry. Perhaps a Conflict-of-Interest disclosure would be a worthwhile addition to the next revision.

Speaking of which, there was in fact a 2015 revision of this 3rd Edition. The Bcl-2 entry gained a second author, John W. Anderson.

Now Anderson is not a scientist or researcher. He is more associated with the Isagenyx ziggurat scheme multi-level-marketing operation, which deals in food supplements and weight-loss pills. Anderson's "Dream Master Laboratory"** was employing Ruggiero in 2015, while Anderson's address was used to register Ruggiero's magic-yoghurt distribution company "Bacterix LLC". Comparing the two versions, it is not obvious what revisions or additions Anderson contributed to this updated entry to earn his co-authorship and the associated academic respectability, other than providing Ruggiero with employment, an affiliation, and accommodation.
* The absence of a citation for Mishra et al. is lamentable, as it deprives readers of the opportunity to check the paper in question, and to discover that the claims it makes are not substantiated -- it was retracted in 2011 on account of manipulated data.

** Evidently a plant-extract importation company rather than an actual laboratory.

*** No longer extant -- recently deregistered in a state of tax delinquency.
The analogy between genetic and textual material goes further than I realised; just as genes can duplicate along the genome, leaving each copy to evolve separately to fill a different role, so can paragraphs on pp. 357 and 358.

Ruggiero's fondness for the deriding approach goes back a long way [h/t Dora].